A Couple of Days Off from High Adventure

Haven’t been in touch for a while – a direct effect of the lack of real news these days. Let’s go backward in time:

Right now the kids are watching the second half of “The Real Macaw”, easily the best Australian film ever made. About a parrot. That stars Jason Robards. And involves pirates. They started watching it yesterday in the evening, and continue tonight. Janneke and I have mercifully let the kids plug in the headphones, and are doing a little “Mystery Science Theater” action over the silent progress of the film.

It’s even less fun than it sounds.

Earlier today, I drove to Fajardo, a little over an hour away, to try to buy tickets for the ferry to Culebra in the morning. We plan to go there and do some beach-hopping and snorkeling. Turns out, though, they only sell 50 advance tickets on the 400-person ferry; we’ll have to get there tomorrow at 7:00 AM and wait in line for tickets on the 9:00 ferry. What's that you say? I should have called first? I did. Probably twenty times. No one ever answered the phone. I finally called the station in Culebra, who said "You can try to call Fajardo, but I'm warning you: They never answer. The phone bites and is poisonous, apparently, in the Fajardo office." I pointed out to the dude in the ticket window there - that it could have saved me damn near three hours of driving. "They know," he said. "I tell them all the time. But I can't answer the phone and sell tickets." "Seems you need another person, then," I pointed out, helpfully. "Don't I know it," he replied.

Ah well. It let me listen to the radio a while. And I also discovered a shortcut to Fajardo – it’s the third time this trip I make that drive. You’ll recall we went there for the bioluminescent bay trip. The directions we had from the kayak company were almost incredibly bad, and they skipped entirely the much quicker and simpler route that avoids any number of towns and stops on a four-lane highway designed specifically for the purpose. Well tomorrow we get our revenge for all the time we’ve wasted up to now.

In the morning, Janneke was at the coffee shop, “working” again, and the kids and I tried to go to the San Juan municipal natatorium. Turns out, though, you need to get an ID and a doctor’s note and permission from the Pope before you can use it. So screw them. Didn’t go in. Hit the beach instead.

That was today. Yesterday? Um…Well, the cat’s been a bit sick. We took her to the vet because she’s had some loose stool action lately. That’s the reason we didn’t go to Culebra today; Janneke wasn’t comfortable leaving her at home with the loose stool action going on. This vet was a lot better – got an appointment and didn’t have to wait 4 hours at all. Couldn’t find anything wrong with the cat, and got some immodium-type medicine for her. All should be well.

On her way to the vet’s, Janneke noticed a municipal dog park, well-maintained, with a bunch of agility structures and all. So after lunch and an afternoon at the beach, we all trooped there to let Clarabelle have a run with some new friends. Many of whom were intent on humping her.

There are jokes to be made there, but I will resist.

Woops – They appear to have killed off the bird in the climactic final scene fo the movie, here, and I have two crying kids. We’ll have to see - I may need to intervene here…Wait – Now the father has jumped from the helicopter and they’re having a come-together moment in the sea, and the talking parrot is still floating on a piece of wreckage from the exploded boat where the evil archaeologist met his deserved end –

Believe me, I WISH I were kidding.

-OK, all appears to be well. They didn’t kill off the bird. What was I saying…?

So that was pretty much yesterday. It’s been a slow couple of days, to be perfectly frank. But come tomorrow night, I’ll have pictures and anecdotes that’ll put hair back on your head.

Besides, the kid and the macaw are now in South America returning the artifacts to the pyramid in the jungle whence they originally came, to the strains of an Andean folk band.

Still wish I were kidding.