Musings. Mustard. And Honest-to-God Mongooses.

Howdy folks - Nothing earth-shatteringly new today, so I'm going to do some quick-hit thoughts and observations on Puerto Rico for you. Might be great, might be a flop. Might cause leukemia. I guarantee nothing.

In general, if you see a Puerto Rican driver who is signaling a turn, the driver is unaware that he or she is signaling.

Further confirmation that I am a rube: They have these awesome things here that they call "carriles reversibles" or "reversible lanes". A long chain of three-foot-high interconnecting, hinged concrete barriers runs a couple of kilometers down a gigantic highway, probably ten lanes wide. And depending on the time of day, they shift the barriers one way or the other to make more lanes for the traffic direction that most needs them. The barriers are shifted with this long, yellow, spraddle-wheeled tractor-type machine. A series of rubberized wheels hanging from the center of the machine grip the grooved sides of the barrier, lift it, roll it along the wheels until the barrier has reached the other side of the vehicle, and drops the barrier neatly on the other side, exactly one lane to the right. They might have to make a few runs to get the barrier where they want it, but in probably forty-five minutes, they've gone from five in one direction, five in the other, to seven in one direction, three in the other. Did everybody else know about these things? Is this like the whole "Cellular Telephone" thing? Am I the last one for whom this is cool and new?

There is less trash on the ground here than anywhere else I've ever been in Latin America.

Puerto Ricans are less good about picking up after their dogs than Williamstowners. But they are better than the French.

Clarabelle is the only non-purebred dog at doggy camp.

Clarabelle is everyone's favorite dog at doggy camp.

Forced myself to strike up a conversation at the market today, and it paid off big, big time. Scored some free plátanos and hand-sliced bits of a fruit called "panané", I think, which I will be boiling and frying tomorrow.

Witnessed my first accident on the highway today. Saw the aftermath, really. Somebody rear-ended someone else. Everyone involved was well enough to be standing on the side of the road, hands on heads, babbling excitedly into cell phones.

The reason Medalla Light is so popular here, I think, is its price. It appears there's a tariff on non-caribbean beer. Bought some St Pauli Girl at the grocer store today; spent $13 for six bottles of beer. It's an OK beer, but man - That's Dogfish Head-type money.

Q and T have distinct Puerto Rican accents for the first half hour after they are picked up from camp. Then it fades.

Walked to Supermaxi to buy mustard this evening, and had to ask a guy where the heck it was. He walked me five or six aisles to where he thought it would be. Then asked somebody else, who took us all to the other end of the store. That better be some damn fine mustard.

I don't know how Puerto Rican policemen ever pull anybody over, because in my experience, they drive around with their lights going all the time, and nobody pays any attention to them. They don't pull over to let the cop by, they just keep merrily driving along. And so does the cop.

Apparently, those two bike cops I saw hanging out in Best Buy were stationed there. Because in KMart today, there was a cop standing at the door as a security guard would be, gun and flak vest and everything, watching people go in and out. I wanted to ask if he'd been stationed there, but I didn't. Maybe they're moonlighting. (In the middle of the day...)

Mr Popper's Penguins and The Rise of the Planet of the Apes are advertising heavily in San Juan.

Supermax does not put the Goldfish crackers among the crackers or among the cookies (which are right next to each other). Rather, there is a separate "Peppridge Farm" area. Of course.

Chihuahuas and pit bulls are the most popular dogs here. You know, therefore - you just KNOW - there's a Pihuahua walking around somewhere right now. I need to see this animal.

Heard the unmistakable sound of a rat being killed by a cat this evening as I walked Clarabelle. Suddenly, the crowds of slinking post-sunset cats in snazzy neighborhoods in Puerto Rico makes sense.

Also saw a mongoose scurry across the road up in the mountains just past lunchtime last Saturday. They were introduced to the island to fight the rat population. Nice move.

Heard an old salsa song on the radio today that was so good it makes me nearly want to cry to think that I can't recall the words, and so can't look it up anywhere. It made me ache, it was so poignant.

Puerto Ricans say "sofacón" instead of "basurero" or "tacho" when they mean to say "garbage can".

A backpack isn't a "mochila" here, it's a "bulto".

Driving isn't "manejar", it's "guiar".

Ready isn't "listo", it's "redi".

Faking someone out in soccer is "regatear". Never knew that before.

Vegetables aren't "verduras" here, they're "vegetales".

Too hot not to have the fan on; can't sleep with a fan prickling every hair on my body. Can't sleep under a sheet - too hot. Sounds like a job for: Alcohol!

St Pauli Girl, to be precise. That's going to be a nearly $3 sleeping pill.

Or two.